Angel
by Izzi Creo
Summary: P4S Comp Entry. SSP In The Arms Of The Angel May You Find Some Comforting ... Song: Angel by Sarah McLachlan


Hello, this is my scarily long entry to the P4S ff comp where I came second. Well done Jodie and Amy who came joint first with their two seperate entries! And well done to everyone who entered.

**Angel**

DS Stuart Turner walked through CID and over to where his four month pregnant girlfriend, Samantha Nixon, was drinking a steaming cup of coffee. He smiled, he couldn't wait to be a dad. He couldn't deny at first he'd been quite hostile but now he was excited. Especially as it finally meant Phil Hunter was understanding that him and Sam were going to be parents _together. _Phil couldn't stop that. 

Stuart walked over and placed a hand on Sam's bump. "Did I tell you that you look gorgeous?"

"Everyday." Sam laughed.

"Well you do, you're really blooming." Stuart grinned.

"Thanks, but you're okay with being a dad now aren't you? You're not scared anymore?" Sam asked, it was a thought that had been worrying her for a while.

"Of course, I'm one hundred percent looking forward to being a daddy."

"Good."

Stuart had told Sam that he'd been scared to begin with, it wasn't the exact case but he knew it would get him out of trouble so he didn't think it was too bad. Whenever he felt guilty about it, which he did, he just kept telling himself that a small part of him was scared but now he was fine. He was there for Sam now which was the main thing.

Stuart pulled Sam round and kissed her softly.

"Eugh, d'you two mind I'm trying to work here without you two making slurping noises in the background." Phil moaned from his desk.

"Working?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow at him. His desk was piled high with folders and paperwork that needed to be done while he sat with his feet up on the desk, drinking coffee.

He shrugged, and gave her a trademark cheeky grin. Stuart rolled his eyes, why was it he wouldn't exactly flirt with words but he'd give her that grin which was basically the equivalent of flirting?

Sam merely shook her head, smiling to herself before going to her own desk. DC Kezia Walker walked in and grabbed her coat, signalling to Stuart showing him that she had a lead. Stuart left with a backwards glance, he was reluctant to leave his girlfriend alone with Phil just in case he attempted to work his charm on her. Stuart shook this fear out of his head, Sam wouldn't leave him for Phil. She cared about him, _plus_ they were having their baby together. She wouldn't be that irresponsible to give up a happy family for a fling with Phil who would most definitely break her heart in the end.  
Phil turned to Sam as the doors to CID swung shut. "He's right y'know?"

"About what?" Sam asked, not taking her eyes off of the paperwork she was sorting through.

"You're blooming." He told her.

She smiled and looked up, her cheeks tingeing pink. "Thank you."

"So when you going to tell Stuart the truth?" Phil asked.

"About what?" She frowned at him.

"About how the baby ain't his but mine." Phil grinned.

"What?!" Sam laughed. "Don't say stuff like that! People will start talking and Stuart'll think I've been cheating on him!"

"Oh so would you not ever cheat on him?" Phil asked, looking a little disappointed.

Sam titled her head at him and spoke gently to him. "Phil …"

"I know, I know, you ain't interested." He sighed but a grin was placed on his features soon enough. "Ah well, I can use Stu as a role model and settle down … I could put myself in his shoes, in his clothes, in his bed …"

Sam whacked him on the arm playfully. 

"What?!" He laughed. "I was just saying."

"Yeah, well … don't!" She told him then became stern. "I mean it Phil, Stuart doesn't like it."

"Oh come on! I'm not losing my mate and her personality just because she has a boyfriend." Phil groaned.

"Yeah well I don't like it either, it's harassment y'know?"

"Only if you don't like it." Phil smirked.

Sam smiled despite herself and shook her head before turning her attention back to her paperwork once more. She knew that Phil's constant flirting with her was wrong but to have the attention from him and Stuart was nice. She couldn't deny that. After the way Stuart had closed up when she'd first told him about the pregnancy Phil had been there, he had cared but she'd given Stuart a second chance once he'd proved that he wanted the baby. She didn't want to put her and her baby's happiness at risk. 

Phil didn't understand, bringing up Abigail on her own had been hard, as much as she'd denied it, it had been hard. She wanted, she needed a man in her baby's life, she wanted to do it right. She wanted to prove that she could be a decent mum. When Abi had been missing and her colleagues, her friends, had been accusing Abi of running away to teach her a lesson, that had felt like her heart was imploding. Had they really thought she was that bad a mother?

But now it was okay, she had a second chance and she was determined to make it good this time round. 

_**Spend all your time waiting  
For that second chance  
For the break that would make it okay  
There's always some reason  
To feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction  
Oh beautiful release  
Memory seeps through my veins  
Let me be empty  
And weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight**_

By that evening when Stuart finally walked back into CID Sam was engrossed in her paperwork. She looked up, Stuart had a smug smile on his face. Meaning he'd gotten the result he wanted. She did feel happy for him, she just wished the smugness would go then he'd be almost perfect.

Stuart seemed to notice Phil sat at his desk, working away without a care in the world for the first time. "Still here Phil? I thought you'd be off bedding some tart by now."  
Phil didn't retaliate, he merely shrugged and Sam felt so proud of him, although naturally she'd never admit it.

Stuart seemed disappointed that Phil didn't retaliate and make himself look like an arsehole in front of Sam. Stuart cleared his mind of all these thoughts though when he thought about the fact Sam would be returning home with him tonight. "You want to go home babe?"

"Yes please." Sam said sweetly. "I'll just get my coat and shut everything off."

"I'll meet you down in the car okay?" Stuart asked.

"Sure." She gave him a peck before he left. Sam put her coat on and silence reigned in CID until she broke it. "What time you going?"

Phil looked up. "Erm I don't know, I'd like to finish this lot off."

Sam looked at him strangely, she walked over and felt his forehead. "You want to stay and do paperwork are you feeling alright?"

"Very funny! … Get out of here!" He laughed, pushing her away.

"See ya Phil." Sam said with a gentle smile before leaving.

Phil sighed, go home … to what? Unlike Sam, who was going home with her boyfriend and to probably sort out baby stuff and talk baby talk. He guessed that he deserved it, understanding how she felt going home alone while he went home to Kate or Cindy but he still hated it. At least when they were both going home alone neither was being left out, neither had the jealous feeling inside them boiling over. 

--

Sam looked out the window of the car at the dark buildings passing. The flash of orange light from a nearby streetlamp startled her, her eyes having become accustomed to the gloom. 

Stuart laughed at her from his position behind the wheel. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Sam said before laughing herself. "Just the streetlamp made me jump. Oh god that sounds so stupid!"

Stuart lifted one hand from the wheel and put it around her shoulders, he pulled her towards him. "You don't sound stupid!" He placed a kiss on the top of he head. He let her go back into her regular position. "I love you."

She smiled happily. "I love you too."

They carried on down the road and got to some traffic lights at a crossroads, Stuart started slowing down when the lights changed back to green. He sped up again when he saw some car headlights rushing towards them on Sam's side before a car hurtled into them.

Their car scraped across the road and went flying into another car. The airbag shot out at Stuart, he had small cuts on his face from where the windscreen had shattered and shards of glass had flown in different directions. He looked across at Sam, she was unconscious.

He began to panic, she had blood dripping from her nose and a cut across her forehead but the most thing that worried him was the blood seeping into the car seat from under her skirt.

Stuart unbuckled himself and dragged himself over, ignoring the soaring pain in his leg. He unbuckled Sam and tried to help her but thought better than to drag her through to his side. After all, if something like her spine had been damaged he could disable her for life. He grabbed his mobile and garbled information to the operator before hugging Sam close to him. He was so worried. Would the baby be okay? And worse yet for him, would Sam survive?

--

Stuart sat in the back of an ambulance with a red blanket draped around his shoulders and a bandage wrapped tightly around his ankle, supporting it. He was waiting for Sam and was sick with worry.

A black car pulled up at double the usual speed and Phil ran over to Stuart. "Stuart! I heard from Reg about what had happened! What the hell did you do?!"

"Nothing! The driver shot into us, the light was green for us though. The woman's been drinking, she's been arrested. They haven't got Sam out yet but she was bleeding from under her skirt … and Phil, what if I lose her? What will I do then?" Stuart asked said in a hurry of words.

"She won't die Stuart, keep telling yourself that … she'll be fine. She'll be up and about in no time." Phil said sternly, trying to convince them both. What if she did die? Stuart would be comforted because he was the boyfriend but what about him? What would he do? Who would comfort him? He shook his head, he really couldn't think like that.

The advantage he had over Stuart was that he wasn't injured, he could get close to Sam without being pulled back by paramedics because of his health. He strode purposefully towards the car and asked what he could do to help. After being asked numerous questions and flashing his warrant card a few times he helped to lift her out of the car. Looking down at her, bile rose in his throat, she was in a terrible way.

The paramedic took a look at her and frowned. "Is she pregnant?" 

Phil almost slapped his forehead, thinking this a stupid question since she was bleeding from under her skirt and had a visible bump. "Yes, she is."

"And you say she works with you?" The paramedic asked.

"Yeah, she's a Detective Sergeant at Sun Hill police station. Her boyfriend is in that ambulance over there." Phil said gesturing to the ambulance Stuart was in. "He's waiting for her."

"Okay, thank you." The paramedic led her away on the stretched toward Stuart's ambulance. Sam had an oxygen mask placed over her mouth. Stuart took hold of her hand and Phil stood there, his heart hammering and painfully aching in his chest as he watched her get driven away.

_**In the arms of the angel  
Fly away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room  
And the endlessness that you fear  
You were pulled from the wreckage  
Of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comforting**_

Stuart sat in the plastic chair on his own when Phil rushed up to him. "Where is she? Is she okay? What's happening?"

"I don't know." Stuart sighed tiredly, he was so worried about her.

Phil gave an almighty sigh before dumping himself down in the chair beside Stuart, he felt awkward so placed a hand on Stuart's arm in a comforting sort of way. Although inside he felt no sympathy for Stuart, all he cared about was Sam and the fear of losing her.

A nurse walked out of a room and towards the two men. "Are you two here with Ms Nixon?"

"Yes!" They both replied, jumping to their feet. Phil casually sat back down. "He's her boyfriend."

"Right well Ms Nixon has suffered a great deal and we'd like to give her an emergency caesarean." The nurse said to Stuart.

"Caesarean? She's only four months gone though!" He replied as if it was ridiculous.  
"We understand that but at the moment there are greater things at risk, if Ms Nixon keeps the baby inside her … then both her and the baby will certainly die." The nurse replied, her soft blue eyes probing his brown ones. Willing him to see that it was for the best.

Stuart sighed. "Will this save her from dying?"

"I can't promise that, but our doctors can try to help her - if you agree to the caesarean." The nurse said.

"Do it, just please … save her." He said before sitting down again, tears pricked his eyes and started to run down his cheeks. He wasn't usually one to share his emotions but the thought of losing Sam and their baby tore painfully at his heart.

--

Stuart looked up as the nurse from earlier walked up to him, it had been four and a half hours but he hadn't moved from his seat. Neither had Phil. They hadn't exchanged any words, Stuart wasn't too keen on pouring his heart out to his love rival.

Stuart stood as the nurse walked up to him. "How is she?!"

"We've gave her the caesarean, she's still unconscious though." The nurse replied.

"And our baby?" Stuart asked.

The nurse hesitated. "We did everything we could … he was a fighter but in the end his heart just gave up."

"He." Stuart mused, a weak smile on his face. "We were going to have a son."

"I'm sorry." Phil said gently. "Really I am."

"It's not your fault." Stuart shrugged. "I guess it's mine, I didn't protect them the way I should have."

"Well in the long run I guess he was put out of his misery eh?" Phil said gently.

"Yeah I guess so, but how can I possibly say that to Sam? She may not have died, but this will most certainly kill her inside." Stuart sighed. 

"She's strong, you stand by her and be patient … of course she's going to grieve but she'll recover too." Phil told him. "You care about her deeply, so stay with her … don't let her down."

Stuart nodded a couple of times wordlessly. He couldn't shake off the feeling that he'd let her down, no matter what Phil said it couldn't take away that feeling. He wish he could run back into the past and take the long way home instead. He wished he could have possibly been a couple of cars back instead of right in front. He wished the stupid woman in the other can hadn't been drinking. Of course naturally, what you wish for never comes true. 

_**So tired of the straight line  
And everywhere you turn  
Vultures and thieves at your back  
And the storm keeps on twisting  
And keep on building the lies  
And you make up for all that you lack  
It don't make no difference  
Escaping one last time  
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, oh  
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees**_

Sam blinked a couple of times, she was aching all over. She saw Stuart and smiled weakly at him. "Hey."

"Hi, how you feeling?" Stuart asked.

"I'm in such pain that it feels numb." She said wincing. "How about you?"

"I'm okay, broken ankle and a few cuts and bruises but nothing too serious. Look Sam, darling, we need to talk …" He began.

"Oh dear, this doesn't sound good." Sam said worriedly.

"It's not." Stuart replied sadly. "They had to perform an emergency caesarean, we had a son but his heart gave up and he died."

Sam broke into sobs. Stuart put his arms around her, being careful of her stitches. "I'm so sorry darling."

"It's not your fault." Sam said in barely a whisper. "I'm sorry … I can't believe I just let him die."

"No! You couldn't have done anything." Stuart insisted. He kissed her. "I … I love you, I don't blame you. I was so worried that you might die and I didn't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either." Sam sobbed against him. She couldn't believe they had lost the baby, they'd been looking forward to having the child together so much.

"Phil's outside if you want to see him?" Stuart suggested, in his head as much as in the past he'd hated this fact, he knew that if anyone could comfort Sam it would be him.

She nodded. "Okay."

Stuart walked out and a few moments later Phil returned. He walked over and hugged her tightly, minding her stitches.

"What am I going to do?" Sam asked, sobbing.

"Grieve … move on." Phil said gently. "You need to make sure that you move on and don't wallow in your grief."

"Will you help?" Sam asked.

"Course, so will Stuart … I mean he is your boyfriend after all." Phil sighed. Sam nodded a little unenthusiastically. "He's still with you isn't he? He hasn't gone again?"

"No he's still with me!" Sam said quickly. "It's just, he doesn't know me … not the way you do."

"Sam please don't." Phil said gently.

"But …"

"Don't!" He said more forcefully, he then turn quiet. "I don't want to be the one that comes between the two of you anymore, I love you, I'll admit that. But you need to be with him. He's the more reliable one who won't cheat or hurt you. I do stupid things and hurt the people I love the most so please … just stay with him. I love you so much that I don't want to be the one to hurt you."

Phil left and a new sadness gripped her heart, Stuart walked in thinking it was entirely about the baby. He hugged her and felt his own salty tears escape from his eyes. Sam moved over and Stuart sat on the edge of the bed, Sam rested her head on his shoulder and sobbed.

She wished she could run into the past and not let him go when she knew about Kate and her baby, she wished she could have said no to Stuart's dinner date and gone for a drink with Phil and everyone else in CID instead. She wished she hadn't kissed Stuart in the car park and sealed the conclusion of 'liking a lot'. But just as Stuart had found out earlier that day, you never get what you wish for. 

_**In the arms of the angel  
Fly away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room  
And the endlessness that you fear  
You were pulled from the wreckage  
Of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comforting  
You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comforting  
**_


End file.
